I've been here before One day a week And it won't hurt anymore You caught me in a lie I have no alibi The words you say don't have a meaning 'Cos ...
I still don't have the reason And you don't have the time And it really makes me wonder If I ever gave a fuck about you
Give me something to believe in Cause I don't believe in you Anymore, Anymore I wonder if it even makes a difference, It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling But I don't believe it's true Anymore, Anymore I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry So this is goodbye
life's been very very very very dull.
c'mon lynn! think of the good stuff not the bad :)
you get the shelter
it's less stressful
longer water breaks
yeah. that made me a whole lot happier :] labour day tmr. i think im gonna do work ... maybe go out :) saturday was funfunfun :) ice skating with mel, jub and jo =))) the next part is stolen from mel's blog. couldn't be bothered to type :D
"Ice skating at Jurong oh my goodness the last time I went there was like...2 years ago maybe? I kinda lost the ability to skate but I got it back after awhile. HAHA. And I didnt fall down once! (: Only came close to it when Jo&I nearly banged into some guy and we both swerved and we went round and round and round. HAHA. Thennn we went to Jurong Library to look for recipes (but we were too lazy to bake in the end) and then Jo's church (I wanna go back next week! &Lynn saw her life flash before her eyes) and then Orchard for dinner and a movie (which we didnt watch) "
hmmm. stayed over at jubs =) was supposed to bake and cook and go to the playground. but we fell alseep =/ woke up early the next morning for baptism class. but the wasn't in the end >:( jephine bought me a spider ring! hahahahah. it's really pretty! and i bought her a butterfly one. sunday was ... boring. haha. had lunch, watched one CSI, slept and woke up at 7 for dinner. woohoo.
Quit playing games with my heart Before you tear us apart I should've know from the start You know you've gotta stop You're tearing us apart Quit playing games with my heart
MAN U WON AC MILAN :D yay. i've grown to love man u. i thought i only supported crisitiano ronaldo. but when rooney scored, i was so so so happy. and when kaka scored twice, i was cursing and swearing at him. neneneneneh. 'cos i woke up to watch the match. i only got 4 hours of sleep =( but i was still happyyy today. don't know why. training was exceptionally .. cool =) running is a joyous activity. wahoo.
watched 2/3 of the pianist just now =) more of world war 1. SIGH. sigh sigh. someone's making me very gay >:(
i had to wear a size SMALL shirt for trng (nadia's TY :] )
i had to wear school shoes for trng, which were nike anw :]
i got soaked.
HAHA. science test first thing in the morning. i've definitely loss 2 marks. i thought iodine only acted on glucose and not starch. ohmansss, slap slap slap. i lost my glasses during lit. i think its in the comp lab. sad sad D: trng ... rocked and sucked. rocked 'cos of something only monica knows :D and i might tell. and i burnt many many fats. :D sucked cos yeah, i was wearing school shoes and size smallllll shirt. halfway during trng, the coach called me "lil girl". omggg, sigh :( and i got drenched, cos of that grass patch beside the sheltered court. and tata got wet too ;] hahahha. sorry !
today's a so so day the deserves only one smiley face. oh yeah, i've finished watching hitler:the rise of evil :D T.H.R.E.E hours long. not worth it, i was looking foward to the killing and everything at the end. but it stopped before the killing. all about politics. boo.
stones, taught me to fly. love, taught me to lie. life, taught me to die.
i got 27 points for napfa :] see, haha. i don't want anyone to think i'm so fit and everything. 'cos i really am not :D i only got 28 points last year. i don't know how i got 3rd fittest girl , must've been some mistake, seriously :) when i told nicole-ann i got 3 Bs, she didn't believe me. and i really felt like crying 'cos what if everyone finds out i'm actually just one big lump of cow shit who's good for nothing. but now the truth must be known :D i suck at sports. i just like running and stretching :] makes me happy.
i did quite well for 2.4 actually :D wasn't aiming for anything till i heard _____'s record :] but it's quite impossible to get that la. i was one minute away :) i improved one minute since last year. and i'm gonna improve another minute next year and so on! :) 'cos running is cool. ;)
today ... had trng with this new coach. he's quite cool luh. let's us catch the ball with one hand :] if puva sees us do that, she'll flip. hahahha. nah, im exaggerating. i kinda miss puva's trngs. cos now its very inconsistent and i don't know whats going on. different coaches every training, diff ways of coaching ... makes me confused and gay =/ aft training, went to waffletown with moni :))) used up every single coin left in our pockets :D except 20 cents. went home and took 170 there was this guy who looked like taufik hidayat. hothothot :] but his attitude turned me offfff. HAHA.
i'm in desperate need for CIP hours. help :( okiedokes, bye :]
what i ate/drank - mee siam - latte (can) - milo (pcket) - this chocolate - kway-tiao noodles - nata de coco yoghurt
okay, maybe it isn't that much. HAHA
how i burned it offff :] - PE (weights room) - 4 rounds + 4 rounds around track - crazy training
hah okay, maybe it isn't that much either. i really really hope, i don't get muscle aches. cos it's napfa tmrrr! :] so exciting. for the sake of passing incline pull ups, i've been doing push ups at night. which results in fat arms. y.u.c.k.s
training today was .. quite tiring :( but that's good. :) i'm having a really bad headache now. WHEE. lizards are attacking my brain. ALRIGHTBYE =)
In the words of a broken heart it's just emotion that's taking me over tied up up in sorrow; lost in my soul
today started off really badly. my geog book got confiscated and everything happened so fast, i didn't know how to react. & i just started tearing. =(
haha. but i was really looking forward to b&j ! :D :D :D for the love of my 2GY friends, i didn't tell like everyone. usually, i'll be really bright and perky and tell the whole world it's "BEN AND JERRY'S FREE CONE DAY!" but i didn't today :) yay. a lottt of sc girls at the bus stop, most of them stopped at newton to go united square :) so we decided to go cathay! we ran all the way from plaza sing to cathay and on the way there we saw ms PUVAAA! hahahhaha. i guess i really wanted to talk for a while, but due to ... peer pressure, i just smiled and waved and went on running! whoohoo :D the queue was quite long, but it moved really fastt. i got my icecream, and a balloon, and pictures with mr cow! after that, we w.a.l.k.e.d to raffles city :) for more ice cream, duh. hahahha. got another picture with a taller mr. cow.
i really want the pictures! i'm really scared we'll appear in newspaper or something. but since i've just predicted it, i doubt it'll happen :] took a bus home, took 170. and i didn't like it. 'cos of smelly and dirty old men and many of them brushed against me and my bag when i wanted to go out. so i was really really sad and traumatised and started tearing while walking home :(
i really wanna learn the piano. and how to write cursive :)
yay yay yay. new installments in my life - my mum's old discman + springwaltz soundtrack = YAY. but once in a while, i'd have to bring myself back to reality, so i'll listen to the radio :)
sprint watlz is nicey nicey poopoo. but soon it'll come out on tv. and everyone will start liking it too, and that'll be when i'll just have to =X i realised i never actually cry when watching shows or videos :)
In sleep he sang to me In dreams he came That voice which calls to me and speaks my name
GOOD FRIDAY woke up at 7 plus. met dwi at coro and ming at newton mrt and made our way to harbourfront. met the rest, shoes, xf and moni. went to sentosa and went to the southest most part of asia's mainland. hahahah. not a nice beach. i swear. dwi's worst experience out of her prob million experiences. met jillian at 1 after that at vivo. watched freedom writers (: was really really coooool. according to shoes, jills cried like a waterfalll. hahahaha. i didn't cry ;) i'm cool. but it's a good show :D go watch it. shopped and ate after that. went homeeee at arnd 6.30.
took many many pics ..... but they're all gone. and i didn't know whether to be sad, happy or angry. i was trying to be as emotionless as possible. yeah. and i still am. and it just fucking pisses me off - everything that happened last night. but i'm not pissed with anyone :] cos it isnt anyones fault
TODAY woke up at 8 plus. went to sch :] our structure got crushed again ..... 17kg this time. SIGH mrs cha & mr tee gave us a long long briefing. i just really want this, real bad. and i dont know why :P if we get in. we still hv to go for sports day. shit.
ended at like 10.30. went for phantom of the opera aft that :) at two pm with family. sat at second row from the front! too near, too scary. but overall it was v v v good. music and cast and everything.
these few days hv been very blank. & i quite like it :D alrightie BYE!
I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed? If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head? If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life? If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I don’t know why you’re so far away But I know that this much is true We’ll make it through And I hope you are the one I share my life with And I wish that you could be the one I die with And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with I hope I love you all my life
just came back :) and i'm really really tired. will post about it tmr, and pics maybe? if im allowed to :] hahahaa. tmr's p.o.t.o and maybe skating with melkhor, jub and jo. but like i can only make it in the morning and jo and jub can only make it in the afternoon. so see how. shitzy poo! om meeting with teachers at 9am?! so scary. this 3 day holiday thingy is so sucky. i've got to wake up early on sunday tooooo. :( i don't even hv energy to listen to the radio at night.
fat.broke.tired.
Empty spaces fill me up with holes Distant faces with no place left to go Without you, within me I can't find no rest Where I'm going is anybody's guess
I've tried to go on like I never knew you I'm awake but my world is half asleep I pray for this heart to be unbroken But without you all I'm going to be is, incomplete
Voices tell me I should carry on But I am swimming in an ocean all alone Baby, my baby It's written on your face You still wonder if we made a big mistake
I don't mean to drag it on But I can't seem to let you go I don't wanna make you face this
i go so excited 'bout tmr that i forgot tht i had my ______ haha. my mum's too over protective anwsss, i don't know what im gonna leave my house in.
nennynenny poo. iceskating with skating buddies on satttt! :D i sure hope i can go! i'm broke. flat broke. boooo.
today was fun (: b_____ shopping with a few netballers. haha. drama girls had their SYF and i don't know anything about it except that ..... chaisy's a music person and ranita is a ... brown thing. hahahahaha. oh my goodness, i should've bothered a bit more :) i think they did well? yeah :D art is so screwed. dunno what im gonna do with my freaking clay. leave it to die i think.
i really wish i was born a long long time ago. in the victorian era or something. where there was really a beautiful and an ugly. now, beauty is defined as thick make up, eye liner, push up bras, and most prob aft plastic surgery or some enhacement. nowadays, everyone's like, "oh, she's so pretty!" but no one agrees sometimes 'cos what's pretty to her and them? the word beautiful should just be taken of the dictionary if everyone wants everyone else to think EVERY GIRL is beautiful. then what's the use off having the word beautiful. it's just like saying everyone's human. what's so special about that. makes me really gay and sick. but then again, what can i do.
i rmbr how running used to be my life. in P5 or something? yeah, i won individual champ, but that was then. and now gravity's specifcally acting on me. the list of rejects -
ballet (since i was K2? stopped at P6)
swimming (stopped at bronze)
ice skating (stopped after 3/4 a year or so)
running (started training at P4, quit at P6 for netball)
netball.
netball's not really over. but come to think of it, yeah, it's kinda over? .. i'm not really concerned of the fact that we have no coach, cos regardless of whether we have a coach or not, i still suck? ming's like telling me how she wants to join chess .. it's not as if she ever will. it's kinda sending the message v clear that i really suck. but then again, it's not as if i can do anything about that.
i thought i could just excel in studies. but everything's just going down. i'm only getting high for things that aren't graded and small lil's things upon 5. like, math pledge. how fished up can i be. it's another one of these days where i realise i'm good for nothing. but then again, God put me into this world not for me to excel in something. but yeah right, as if i can even evangelise, or have a shocking testimony. everyday i think this day sucks, and the next day it gets worse, so then i'm so grateful for the day b4, and then the next day sucks even more. so my days are practically just all dropping lower and lower? i can't rmbr the first day i even said "today sucked". cos that was a long time ago, and when i think about it, did it really suck that much? come to think of it, how much deeper can i fall? oh well, it's not as if i can turn back time.
my friends aren't making it better either. sometimes i think the only thing they can do is pretend not to see. i still thank God for these friends 'cos without them, i'm somewhat nothing :) i have no life outside school so what's the point of making the effort to make friends outside or school.
when i think i have no life and nothing to look forward to. i think of the people in africa searching for food in the dumps. yeah, that's really how low i can get. and right now, i'm feeling terribly sorry for myself which is a total waste of time.
but i still thank God, and I love him and love him. the end, Amen.
i am going to write pretty tmonials now and it'll be as if nothing's wrong. 'cos really, what's wrong? nothing's wrong :) i don't see the point in mourning 'cos no one would f-ing care anyway.
Today I didn’t think of you Today was alright I had a lot of things to do I was moving on with my life
But now I need some answers, some answers I’m tired and I’m getting weak
Another hour passes by It’s gonna be a long night ahead Cos I feel you creeping up inside my mind Every time I look at my bed
The only time I can’t live without you I can’t let you go
I only miss you when I’m dreaming That’s why I don’t wanna close my eyes Tell me why you only hurt me when I’m sleeping The only time I can’t control my mind And the only time I can’t put up a fight I miss you when I’m dreaming
Time can bring you down Time can bend your knee Time can break your heart Have you begging please
SUNDAY missed service but went for baptism class :) i wrote out my tmony and ltr found out that i had to email it -.- -.- -.- hahahah. the new food court at whitesands so colddd. >:( not nice. borrowed books which i dont think i'll finish reading anw.
hmm. bladed for like 3 hours plus after that. but i felt as if i ate more than i bladed. hahahaha. soon they'll ban blading beside the canal luh. i scare paranoid mothers with children standing in the middle of the pavement. so dumb -.-
TODAY history test. was v funneh. we had to do activity book or read chapt 5 after we finish. who in their right mind wouldn't look at the textbook luhhhh. but of cos, everyone in my class alr studied like toot for the test, so why would they need to check. monica was so pissed cos she said pple checked the wrkbook. :] hahahahhahaha. a bit unfair tho, to those who studied like toot. AHHA. riotttt!
oh man, our group was one of the winners for our problem. for om. and like, competitions next week at acs i. I WANT TO LAUGH. hahahaha. but its gonna be damn stress. must commit! hahahaha. lit was really funny. everyone can really potray the characters of "of mice and man" really well. even when the mood is slow .. its like still realistic. :) yup. v sadddd. after that was ce. and assembly. haha. cool stuff luh :]
lauren's telling me really gay tips on growing tall .. like "drinking milk, swimming, yoga, eating 3 meals .."
but someone commented, You will eventually lose height when you age and osteoporosis sets in. So don't work too hard on it.
another one said : i don't believe that eating or swimming will make you tall, look at the african people and the people in sudan, they are so tall they have war they don't swim and they don't eat good food.
hahahahahhaha. everyone's shooting up. even my sister. she's like 161 now? yeah. but that's sad stuff. MOVING ON ...
my _____ came :D waha. im happy it came. 'cos if not, that might mean im ..... pregnant. WAHA.
i don't wanna run away, i wan't to stay forever ..
there's so many movies i wanna watch nowww. :(
freedom writers
mr beans holiday (omg. im like the only one who hasn't watched it!)
this jude law show
this mandy moore show
hahahahahhaha. i can't remember the titles. will go check later. i need to go out. and not succumb to fatty food. i bet you i will stay online till 8pm. i have nth better to do. haha oh man. OKAY BYE.
There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout 'Cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out These mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again If you only try turning around.
